Fucked up the original picture so here's a tilted one... never mind the blur
Okay, so this is better. The original wasn't bad, but it's position with regard to the picture plane is screwy. The lines work, the eye can move around alright, things are clearly defined. I didn't like the original because the figure is way to close to the edge, and the angle is too extreme, it doesn't do much to help the dynamism.
Here there's still a tilt but although the girl is still at the extreme edge, but...