"Man, I should put this shit on Grindr. I haven’t a body like this since, well, ever. Gotten kinda hairier than most of the bathroom selfie types…but some guys are into that. Some of that hair is kinda gray…well some guys are into that too, right? Anyway, I got a hot bod and a winning smile. With…pointed teeth.

Fuck, who wouldn’t be into all of this? I’m hot as hell. I’m sexy, and powerful, and…

No, this is crazy. I know what’s happening, what’s gonna happen soon. I can’t be doing this now. I can’t be thinking like this. I can’t. I…"